I found out last night that, in the run up to Christmas, a friend of mine died suddenly. As the bass player for punk rockers, The Bleach Boys, John Barnett was a local legend in the Hitchin vicinity (which is where I grew up).

While we have been bombarded with news about the loss of the punk movement heroine, Vivien Westwood; John’s passing, at least in my opinion, is every bit as important to acknowledge.

The Bleach Boys have featured many times on this site over the years and I knew of the band long before I knew the individuals in it personally. I became friends with John as a result of his bass playing duties - that was more than 25 years ago.
 
We kept in touch the whole time; much coffee and/or beer was consumed in conversation over the decades. The last occasion we got to enjoy a drink and a chat was in August when the chaps were performing at a Balstock fundraising event at the Hen and Chickens pub in Baldock.

John was bright, articulate, well liked, had wide ranging interests, was a genuinely decent family man, and a fine bass player. He was always good to me and kept me up to date with the comings and goings of the band.

When I read the Facebook notice posted by his daughter, I was gutted. John was only 66, and the world is a lesser place for his departure.

Back in 2015 I wrote an obituary of sorts for Simon Kelly (the band’s original singer). While Simon was the wildly entertaining front man, John was a little quieter (thank God) but every bit as important to the sound and the creativity of the unit.  

John’s death has made me reflect on my own mortality; I need to try harder to wring more joy out of every day because who knows how much time is left.

My thoughts are with Hannah and John’s wife, Catherine, as they come to terms with their loss. And with Bleach Boys members Mark (Rocket), Matt, Mark and John Profit.

Hopefully there will be some comfort to be found in the knowledge that loads of people they don’t know will be mourning too. John was a good guy and will be missed by many.

The music that he wrote will live on.

And on that note, I have been playing “The Four Cyclists Of The Apocalypse” a bit too loudly and trying to celebrate a life well lived. You just can’t be too miserable when listening to the Bleach Boys at full tilt – the music/lyrics will make you smile even when you are feeling down.

Visit The Bleach Boys

Previous related posts:

1. ​http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/the-c-word
2. http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/bleach-boys-balstock-beer-buffoonery-and-blimey
3. http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/1/post/2013/08/bleach-boys-and-chron-gen-at-club-85-in-hitchin-a-gig-review.html
4. http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/1/post/2013/05/the-bleach-boys-overload-and-rsi-punk-rock-with-king-billy.html
5. http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/the-bleach-boys-and-the-horn.html
6. http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/the-bleach-boys-a-cd-review.html
7. Dec 16 - Baldwin, Baldock, Brocker and Bleach Boys 
8. https://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/brocker-and-the-bleach-boys-rock-baldock-again
9. https://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/rip-simon-kelly
10. https://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/simon-kellys-memorial-gig-at-club-85-in-hitchin

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It’s about time that I wrote this blog post in follow-up to my earlier piece about my Eliots Green Grammar School scarf quest - which you can read here to save me repeating myself.

After the initial post, I had to play detective and tried all sorts of things to get the answer I needed about the scarf colourway. Here are some of the avenues explored.

I contacted:

• The school – now Northolt High
• Northolt Library
• Ealing Council’s archivist and local historian
• Kevins – the current school uniform provider to Northolt High (unfortunately it has only provided uniform since the 1980s)
• The Eliots Green Facebook alumni group
• The oldest school scarf manufacturer currently operating in the UK – I wanted to know if there was a database somewhere that held details of the UK’s schools, colleges, and universities scarf colourways. No is the answer by the way.

And drew a blank everywhere. So, next steps were to share my quest with everyone I am connected to on LinkedIn and Facebook to see if they could help. Some of my friends, intrigued by my challenge joined in with the research work too – many thanks to Natasha James in particular for her tenacity.

I/we did eventually make some progress. I managed to get hold of various school uniform shots. A colour photo of school tie was helpful.

After a period of limited success, a chap got in touch with me and was able to provide the real help that I needed. Perfect Peter, though he may not be perfect, or even called Peter, still had a school scarf. His was a knitted scarf not a woven one, and the lines on his were vertical not horizontal, but the line proportions and colours were all I needed to get on with the task on getting a scarf remanufactured for my dad. Perfect!

When I say a scarf … the next issue was a minimum order quantity, which for the provider I chose was six. Then, on top of the initially reasonable unit cost, there was delivery at £20, and then VAT to add to everything. The bill just ballooned.

Having worked so hard to that point, I damn well wasn’t giving up just because the cost was getting less palatable.
​
So, after I deep breath, I placed my order, parted with my funds and waited for the next six weeks or so to get the scarves. Thankfully, when they arrived, I was really pleased with them.

I handed my dad his new scarf on Father’s Day and he was well chuffed with his present. My dad knew and appreciated just how much effort had gone into getting one to him. I presented one to my sister too and we all had the photo you see taken in my parent’s garden. At that point, every penny was worth it.

This blog post is a record that will help anyone else with a similar quest in the future, and it is a thank you to all those folk that helped me or did their best to.

I have a couple of spare scarves too, so if you want one for yourself without any of the hassle of getting one made, get in touch with me and I’ll sell you one at cost. 

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With 24 hour live news coverage of the invasion of Ukraine, the war is never very far away from my thoughts.

While the news is often harrowing, there have been some positive developments amidst all the doom and gloom:

• The fighting spirit of the Ukrainians is commendable
• The unity of the EU and the NATO members is remarkable
• The sanctions process is having more impact than I thought it could
• The countries offering Ukrainians unconditional refuge is heart-warming
• President Zelensky is brilliant

But the situation is grim and is going to get worse. Putin’s relative lack of success is likely to lead to more drastic aggression. The current suggestion that Russia may be looking to fabricate a scenario that justifies it retaliating with chemical/biological/nuclear weapons is horrifying.

You’ll probably be familiar with all this stuff already and there are much better places than this for keeping up to date, or for getting more informed commentary.

But in the opening paragraph I mentioned my thoughts… and the BBC News won’t convey those better than I can.

The other day, I was stressed because a roof tile fell off and, over a handful of days, I made dozens of phone calls before I could get the roof repaired. Then the oven failed. Having water coming in through the roof or having an oven that won’t heat up are problems, but they amount to nothing in the wider scheme of things.

Watching and then thinking about the Ukranians that;

• look just like me,
• lived their lives just like me,
• had plans for the future,

having to abandon their homes, jobs and country, taking just what they can carry and with no idea if/when they’ll be able to go back, or if their homes will have been destroyed…

… puts all my stresses into a completely different context. I can’t imagine the thought of having to do the same thing. It would be utterly soul destroying and I know I would struggle to process the loss.

So I have found it weird to be getting on with my life like nothing is happening – the Groundhog Day existence of going to work, taking my daughter to school, tidying the house, feeding the pets, fixing stuff etcetera, etcetera. To be fair, I am not sure what else I could be doing that would make any difference … but life feels out of synch with reality.

And that brings me to 1984.

George Orwell’s novel keeps springing into my mind. If you haven’t read it, you should because the Russian spin on the news, or its reimagining of history, is bringing Orwell’s creation to life in the real world.
   
The fact is that the Russian people are being lied to constantly by their government and the Putin regime is blatantly lying on the international stage too. Inside Russia, anyone that protests is likely to be arrested. The truth is fake news and exponents of the truth are likely to be jailed.
 
I listened to Vladimir Kara-Murza, a vocal Russian opposition speaker being interviewed the other day and he was compelling. His view is that the information war is as important as the weapons and the sanctions. He argued that getting accurate information to the Russian populace could be the most important thing in turning the Russian people against their own leader. Getting rid of Putin should be down to ordinary Russians not some special forces team.

You can read more from Kara-Murza in this Washington Post article:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/03/07/west-must-help-russians-learn-truth-about-war-ukraine-independent-media/

As a communications man rather than a soldier (who might prioritise weapons over the pen), Kara-Murza’s opinions resonated with me because I don’t understand how ordinary Russians would condone a war in their name if they knew the truth. For the Russian soldiers, if they knew the truth, regardless of their orders, I don’t know how they could kill ordinary Ukrainians (people that look like them and even speak their language). To me, an analogy is the English going to war with the Scots or the Welsh - it makes no sense at all.

And it’s in this information war that this post is worth me writing and you reading. I alluded to feeling a bit impotent earlier, the ‘what difference can I make’ question; well maybe bloggers like me can fight in the information war because we are numerous, and the Kremlin can’t shut us all down.

But while I am wondering if that sounds a bit up my own arse, Baldwin money has been donated to DEC.org.uk too.

Whilst I/we have to get on with our lives, we can all do something instead of nothing.

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Related posts:
24/02/22 The news is bleak. Time for an epiphany
11/02/22 Look East … And Worry

On 15th February I went back in time, well sort of anyway.

Until the age of nine, I lived in Bletchley, Milton Keynes. Moving to Hitchin in 1980 was a major blow for me. The upheaval and sense of loss was the hardest thing to process in my young life to that point. Losing all my friends and having to move to a completely new primary school was really tough. It didn’t do me any harm in the long-term, but it was difficult at the time.

Having left Bletchley more than 40 years ago, it was fascinating to go back and have a wander through my childhood world.

I walked around Hunter Drive, Celina Close, Tiffany Close, Magenta Close, Cornelia Close, the Lakes Estate and made it to the Blue Lagoon too. I found my old primary school “Eaton Mill”, now the “Premier Academy”, and wandered down Water Eaton Road until I got to the local shops.

A few things surprised me, one was that even after all the elapsed time, I was able to follow my nose and make my way around without getting lost. Another was that my whole world was really rather small, nothing was more than half a mile from my old doorstep.

Some of the street names I had forgotten but reading the name plates instantly brought the memories flooding back.

While some things were different, much of the landscape was unchanged and instantly recognisable. One thing that was very different was a wetland area behind Hunter Drive and before the Barton Road Industrial Estate. When I was a lad, there was a reasonably sized gravel pit where I used to go and catch newts and frogs, forty years later the area is still wet but completely wooded. There wasn’t a single tree in my day, just rushes.
​ 
I took photos as I went to share with my wife and kids, but when I looked at them later, they were just non-descript pictures in a housing estate and they didn’t convey any of the joy I felt when I was taking them.

Because I was young, had no responsibilities and didn’t really have a care in the world, I remember my time in Bletchley with fondness. I hadn’t been back in so long that the whole experience really did feel like time travel. Weird but very pleasing.

Mrs Baldwin totally gets the time travel sentiment. Last October she took our daughter on a road trip to Hull (which is where she grew up) so she could show her all the places that were important in her childhood. Mrs B. returned with similar photos to those I took in Bletchley.

During my wanders I was on my own, the weather was rubbish, and I was wearing the wrong shoes, but I had a really good time nonetheless.

I plan to go back in time again soon and either take the family or see if I can meet up with one of my childhood friends instead.

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On Saturday, I went to Oxford to watch Desert Storm perform the final show of its tour at the O2 Academy. Two gigs in the same week is a first, as is writing about them both. As usual, I won’t repeat the stuff I have written about the band before, all previous posts are shared below if you want to read more.

Given so little time had expired between gigs, you might think there wouldn’t be enough extra insight to be worth sharing in another post. But there is and so here we go again.

But first - do you ever stack the odds against yourself? You know, doing the kinds of things that increase your chance of failure? Not revising for an exam for example, or putting something off when you know you shouldn’t?

Or is it just me?

Pre-Gig

I have been known to sabotage myself on occasion, and Saturday evening started with some procrastination. I knew I should have left the house before 6pm … but the England/Wales Six Nations rugby game was so gripping that I just had to watch it to the end.

Then as I was finally leaving, Mrs Baldwin gave me an errand to run.

So, early into the evening, I was already running late.

Getting to Oxford was relatively straightforward, but parking when I got there was an utter nightmare. I was not familiar with the challenges of parking on/around the Cowley Road but believe me, the parking restrictions are horrible.

Having spent an hour and a quarter getting to Oxford, I spent at least half an hour looking for a space, failing and getting very close to the end of my tether. In the end I parked a mile away from the venue and literally ran to the gig. In steel capped boots and jeans.

I made it to the box office to find that the geezer in the booth had no record of the discounted ticket that had been put aside for me by the band. So I paid full price … and then bumped into Ryan Cole, who was looking a little stressed too. It turned out that Chris White, the lead guitarist, and Elliot, Ryan's brother and the drummer, hadn’t arrived. The band was due to be on stage 15 minutes later.

But Ryan, good guy that he is, accompanied me back to the box office to remonstrate with the sales dude. I subsequently got some money back, which was nice.

It turned out that Chris White, who was travelling with Elliot, couldn’t park his car either. They made it just in time and Chris was as cross as I was with the impossible parking conditions.

You might think that the comedy of errors was over by this point, but no. There was more stupid to come.   
  
I had never been to the O2 Academy before, so having got my ticket I wandered into the venue. It was absolutely packed with twenty somethings. That felt all wrong for starters.

And then my alarm bells started to ring when a band started playing. It was emo (or emotive) pop/punk/metal. That felt all wrong too.

So, surrounded by youngsters singing along and bouncing up and down to this Avril Lavigne looking singer, I got my phone out and logged on to the Academy’s website. Listed for the evening was the Black Parade.

It was then clear to me that whilst I was in the right venue, I was in the wrong place. Doh!

I left the hall and then found some stairs that took me up to the second floor. And yes, it turned out that the Academy can host more than one gig at the same time.

Fortunately, I made it upstairs in time to not miss the Desert Storm set. The fellas were tuning up as I made it into the correct environment. By this point I had of course completely missed all the support bands.

Already I am more than 600 words into this post and the band has barely had a mention so far. I’ll get on with part two of the post now, thanks for bearing with me so far.

The Gig
​
The Tuesday night gig at The Craufurd Arms was lightly attended and what a difference four days (and plenty of notice) had made. This place was lively, full of fans and the sense of anticipation was palpable. Chris White, absent at Wolverton, was in his rightful place on stage.

I got myself a position close to the front of it, and then band launched into its set. Behind me a decent and energetic mosh pit formed immediately and stayed operational all the way through the show.

In Wolverton, the chaps had been philosophical, but at Oxford they were thoroughly animated. Matt Ryan was in his element, giving it some, and absolutely loving it.

He was keen to thank the audience for attending because going to gigs is the only way that gig venues will survive.
It’s an aside, but the venue that hosted Deserts Storm’s tenth anniversary, the Cellar, has gone as have others in Oxford. The Craufurd Arms was on the brink during the Covid lockdowns.

The first five songs:
​

• Black Bile
• The Machine
• Vengeful Gods
• Master Of None – new, unreleased
• Mr Strongbatch

Like my blog post, the Desert Storm set was split into two parts. The reason for the split was to reflect a real-life separation. Chris Benoist, the long-term bass player left the band a short while ago. Matt Dennett was recruited as his replacement.
 
The tour to celebrate the band’s 15-year anniversary was a great way to introduce Matt D. and also give Chris B. a bit of a send-off and thank him for all his years of loyal service. Oxford is the band’s home turf and Saturday’s gig was the last date of the tour. There was no better time/place to celebrate.

Matt D. performed the first half of the set. In a gap between songs, I had a quick word with Chris B. and asked him if watching his band playing without him was odd. I thinking the response was ‘yeah, bloody weird’.

Over the years I got to know the guys in the band, at least to chat to easily, but Chris Benoist was always the one I talked to the least. There was no particular reason for that, it was just what it was. When the second part of the set was announced by Matt Ryan and Chris was called to the stage, I actually learned how to pronounce his surname for the first time. What I thought was ‘Ben O Ist’ is actually ‘Ben Noir’. French ancestry apparently. Every day is a school day.

The second five songs:

• Shadow Of An Eagle
• Queen Reefer
• Kingdom Of Horns
• Titan
• Enslaved In The Icy Tundra (my favourite track of the night … again)

​It was clear to see that Chris Benoist loved his time on stage, he played flawlessly and with obvious enthusiasm. I thought he looked great, totally at home and in his proper place.

I know that stuff happens and priorities change, leaving was his choice; but once the adrenaline hit was over, I wondered if he might have felt a bit sad that his Desert Storm era was at an end. I felt sad for him anyway.

After ‘Enslaved’, the fans were cheering for another song, the band would have played one too, but the venue turned the mics off, so that was that.

Although it wasn’t for me. I got to chat to the guys and in particular enjoy the company of Chris White. One of the things we have in common is the appreciation of Formula One. Once we expressed our joint frustrations about the challenges of parking, we got on to Lewis Hamilton. I wrote a while ago that I thought he had been robbed of the 2021 drivers’ championship and Chris was in firm agreement. If anything, he was more cross about it than me. We both agreed that the way Hamilton had dealt with the affair was extremely dignified.

Matt Ryan meanwhile was selling merchandise and even sorting out signatures on CDs for fans. You can’t fault the front man’s commitment.

I was asked if I’d like to go to the after-show party, which was nice, but I don’t know Oxford very well and didn’t know the pub that the guys were heading to.

So apart from running the mile back to my car, part two of my evening was over.

And ‘two’ got me thinking:
​

• Not seen the band for two years
• Then two Desert Storm gigs in a week
• This one at the Oh Two Academy
• Two-part set
• Two-part post
• Two bass players
• Two miles run
• And today is March two

Too much … yeah probably a bit weird, I’ll stop now

Aside from making it clear that it was a great gig and a chance for the band to end its tour on a real high. The place was buzzing, and I am pleased I made it. Just.  

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​Follow Desert Storm - https://www.facebook.com/desertstormuk

Previous relevant posts:
17/02/15 Eating, drinking and rocking on the Cowley Road 
19/03/15 Desert Storm and some other noisy bastards
10/12/15 Desert Storm at The Craufurd Arms – a gig review​
10/08/16 Digression, Desert Storm and Honky​
04/12/17 ​Ten year, cellar matured Desert Storm joy
04/07/18 Desert Storm and Karma to Burn at the Craufurd
25/02/22 Desert Storm Tour Diversions

18/12/21 Hamiltion Was Robbed

On Tuesday 22nd February I went to see Desert Storm at my favourite local’ish’ gig venue; the Craufurd Arms, Wolverton, Milton Keynes.

Regular readers will know that I have written about the band on a number of occasions (previous posts detailed below). The fact is that I have been to more gigs than I have written about, and I now tend to write something when I gain new insight about the band or its members.

The long overdue tour was intended to promote the ‘Omens’ album. That was released in 2020, but obviously the last two years have been miserable for the live music scene and the fellas couldn’t get on the road.

The 15th anniversary tour was originally supposed to arrive in Wolverton on the 24th February. That gig ended up being cancelled because of a booking clash at the Craufurd.  

The show on the 22nd was supposed to be in Blackpool but got cancelled by the venue at the last minute because it was worried about the volume of pre-sold tickets.

Matt Ryan and I debated the state of advance ticket sales. The Blackpool venue was not willing to gamble on door sales; but given all the chaos over the last few years, you could expect people to want to buy tickets on the door instead of in advance… because at least they know the band has turned up and the gig is going to actually happen.

To illustrate, I was supposed to attend a Diamond Head gig in January 2021 (at the Craufurd incidentally); that gig got postponed to January 2022 and then got cancelled altogether by the covid-nervous and aging rockers. I got my money back, but only the face value of the ticket, not the booking fee, the insurance etc. So, no gig and I was still out of pocket. I’d much rather have taken my chances on the door.

After some hasty phoning around, the guys secured a last-minute fill in Craufurd slot and ended up arriving two days earlier than originally anticipated. It’s funny how things work out, Blackpool’s loss was my gain.

But the band’s gain was limited. Announcing a gig with 24 hours’ notice wasn’t going to be a ticket selling or even awareness creation success. The decision was made to make the gig free to access and the agreement with the venue was that the fellas wouldn’t get paid.

Then, to make matters more depressing, even though it was free, only a handful of punters turned up. I was one of them and thoroughly enjoyed the inadvertently socially distanced show.

The guys were philosophical about the turn out and, even though it was way below their usual expectations, put in a good natured and professional performance.

It just proves that the music industry is a tough mistress; the band has been going for 15 years, has a recording contract, has produced five albums, with a sixth in development … and still has to do the occasional gig for free, or in front of a tiny audience. But free isn’t accurate, the chaps have to fund their own transport, hotel rooms and other expenses. so a ‘make no money’ gig becomes a ‘make a loss gig’.

Reality, and it’s harsh, is that the band don’t earn a living from Desert Storm. The love of their craft keeps the band motivated, not the cash. Even after 15 years, the day jobs are still essential.

Coming to the gig itself, the band played a mixture of old and new tracks, the set list was as follows:

• Black Bile
• The Machine
• Vengeful Gods
• Lockjaw
• Master Of None – new, unreleased
• Queen Reefer
• Mr Strongbatch
• Path Of Most Resistance
• Drifter
• Titan
• Scorpion
• Enslaved In The Icy Tundra (my favourite track of the night)
  ​

Chris White was missing from the line up for the tour, so Ryan Cole was handling all the guitar work. I met Matt Dennett the new bass player for the first time – he played in the support band as well so did back-to-back sets – that’s commitment.

The original bass player was Chris Benoist, that meant two Chris’ in the band. Now there are two Matts instead. Then of course there are two Coles, brothers Ryan and Elliot; and two Ryans too – Matt Ryan and Ryan Cole.

For the band’s gig on 26th February, at Oxford’s O2 Academy, Chris Benoist will return to do the second half of the set ... and get the proper send-off he deserves. Chris White will play that show too, so there will be two Chris’, two Matts, two Coles and two Ryans. I may have got side-tracked here!

But I kind of got to where I needed to be anyway. I am going to the Oxford show, that means I’ll have seen the band twice in the same week. That’s a first.

Seeing the band again so soon is worthwhile because the band is that good. In my last gig review for British Lion, I stated that I wouldn’t bother seeing that one again. Unlike Tuesday, that gig was sold out, but ticket sales aren't an accurate gauge of the quality of the band. Desert Storm is a better band than British Lion and much more deserving of a full auditorium.

The good news is that the Oxford show, on the band’s home turf, has a significant volume of pre-sold tickets and is going to be a full house. Can’t wait.

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Previous posts:
17/02/15 Eating, drinking and rocking on the Cowley Road 
19/03/15 Desert Storm and some other noisy bastards
10/12/15 Desert Storm at The Craufurd Arms – a gig review​
10/08/16 Digression, Desert Storm and Honky​
04/12/17 ​Ten year, cellar matured Desert Storm joy
04/07/18 Desert Storm and Karma to Burn at the Craufurd ​

I wrote a few weeks ago that I expected to wake up one day and find the world had changed. Today was that day.

Putin has done just what he wanted to and invaded Ukraine. If he wants to absorb it back into Russia and continue on his quest to rebuild the USSR, he isn’t going to be stopped.

Sanctions, important though they are, will have minimal impact because Putin has China’s support. China has refused to condemn Putin or impose sanctions. Putin will just trade with the Chinese instead of Europe and the US. Europe will refuse Russia’s oil and gas, but China will just take it all instead.

NATO won’t send in troops because then a wider war is almost inevitable.

The ramping up of NATO defences is significant because they reflect the bigger concern that Putin isn’t done yet. Ukraine is surrounded by other ex-eastern bloc countries that are full NATO members. If Putin targets any of those then NATO’s military response is guaranteed.

And if we go to war in a more global sense, it won’t be fought with guns and tanks, it will be fought with nukes. Putin has pretty much alluded to their use already by stating that any interference will be met with brutal force the like of which has not been seen before. That’s scary stuff.

While we should be worrying about climate management, carbon reduction, biodiversity and generally saving the planet, we now have to contend with the spectre of war and destroying more of it instead. It's so damn stupid.

From a personal perspective, I have found myself worrying that doomsday is getting closer. And that has made me think that I might need to review my priorities.

For pretty much my whole life I have been sensible, practical and largely risk averse; I have spent years investing for the future and as a result not travelled as much as I wanted to and never had the cars/motorbikes for example that I really desired. I am still on my first marriage, the kids have been supported, the debts have been manageable, I have a pension etcetera, etcetera.

Blimey, I am old and boring. That was never the plan.

But it is now conceivable (even more so than it was in the early eighties) that everything that has been built around the family could go up in a mushroom cloud. That makes me think that I need to do more living for the moment, be more spontaneous, be irresponsible and have a lot more fun. While I still can.

I’ll talk to Mrs Baldwin later and ask her if she’ll let me…

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Do you know anyone that went to Eliots Green Grammar School, Northolt in the late fifties/early sixties? I ask this question because if you can help me with something (or you are connected to someone else who can) I’d be extremely grateful.

My dad, Neil Baldwin, went to Eliots Green from 1957-1964 or thereabouts (he's in the photo below). One of the things that he kept for decades after was his knitted school scarf.

​I lost it for him in 1992 and my sister and I are trying to get him a new one made. The problem is that given all the time that has passed since we last saw it, we can’t remember the colourway or the thickness of the stripes - certainly purple, yellow, some white we think, but after that we are vague.

My dad can’t remember the colours, neither can my uncle or my Godfather and all of them went to the same school. My sister has tried the school’s Facebook group and drew a blank there too.
​

The circumstances of the loss of the scarf still irritate me 30 years later. The scarf was actually stolen from me on 28th January 1992. I was at a Zodiac Mindwarp gig at Reading University Student Union with my good friend Chris Williams. Whilst it was bloody cold outside, it was hot and sweaty inside and I’d taken off my leather jacket and scarf and left them at the back of the hall.  At the end of the show my jacket was still there, but my dad’s scarf was gone. As I left the gig I was looking to see if anyone was wearing it - there would have been trouble if I spotted the new ‘owner’ – but I didn’t get lucky and that was that.

​Dad isn’t especially sentimental about any possession, but he did value his old school scarf. It has come up in conversation occasionally over the years and I genuinely feel some guilt that it was lost under my stewardship.

So, my sis and I are trying to right a wrong and get him a replacement. In our interconnected world, it must be possible to find someone that has still got a scarf and can tell us the colours, the order of stripes and the width of them. Maybe someone could even send me a photograph.

On LinkedIn I am connected to around 500 souls, on Facebook I am connected to almost 150, and all of those people are connected to many others. The other day I found out that I have got seven connections in common with Quentin Wilson and nine in common with the CEO of Porsche UK, so it must be feasible to track down an Eliots Green alumni or two.

This is where you can help. Please share my quest with your connections and let me know if anyone out there can assist. My website has been live for a decade, and this is the first time I have ever asked for a post to be shared in this way. I hope that the request sits okay with you.

And you never know, if this piece happens to be read by the person that helped themselves to the scarf at the Zodiac Mindwarp gig in 1992, maybe I could even get the original back. Stranger things have happened.
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That fact is that my old man is getting on a bit now and my sister and I would love to be able to replace his old school scarf while we still can.

My thanks in advance ​if you are willing to help.

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Every so often I waste my time and reflect that I’ll never get the hours back. Then I regret that I didn’t do something more productive. Watching Nomadland is one of those instances.

Bizarrely, having wasted a few hours already, I am now writing this blog post which, because no one will read it anyway, will waste a bit more of my precious time. Still, on the off chance that I might save a few readers the bother of watching the film, it might do some social good.

Nomadland is a multi-award winning film (that’s the reason I chose to watch it) about the US traveller community that focuses on the life of Fern. Frances McDormand, who plays Fern, delivers a brilliantly balanced low-key performance, and was perfectly cast for the role.

The film is well crafted, it is like a clever mixture of film and documentary, it involves real members of the travelling community, and I can understand why it appealed to the film making industry.

An Amazon reviewer stated that it’s “a powerfully moving story of hope and resilience“ but, as far as I am concerned, Fern’s story is just depressing.

She loses her husband (he dies) and then, because it was connected to his job and the whole company is in ruin, she loses her home in rural Nevada, and with it her teaching job. Through what amounts to poverty, she has to live in a panel van whilst travelling around the country to work in a succession of crappy, minimum wage jobs.  

Fern’s poverty is grim, the van is grim and when it breaks down, she can’t afford to fix it. So much for self-sufficiency and independence, she has to beg her sister for financial help. She has no toilet or shower facilities (think shitting in a bucket) and when she gets ill, it’s even more bleak. She even has to cut her own hair … so that looks shit too.

To make matters worse, there are two points in the film where she has a chance to live with a fancy man, or with her sister and have a proper roof over her head, and she declines both times to carry on living in her bloody van.

And when you think it couldn’t get anymore miserable … it does. Her friends start dying.

At one point she is driving by her old home to find that it, and all the other company houses, are empty. What a fucking waste – the place is a ghost-town and everything is in decline. The evicted folk might as well have been given the scope to stay in their homes and keep the community going.

I watched the film worrying that I was going to find out that Fern had been mugged, raped or even murdered – seriously, it was that bleak that I was worried it was going to get worse.    

But in the end, not much happens, the film is long and it plods along at a sluggish pace. If you like an action movie, this isn’t it.

I persevered right until the end but then wished I hadn’t because by that point it was late at night and I honestly felt miserable and lonely. Admittedly it probably didn’t help that Mrs Baldwin and the kids were away for the weekend and that the house was quiet.

JK Rowling and Harry Potter came to mind because watching Nomadland was like getting a visit from the Azkaban dementors – the joy was well and truly sucked out of me.

Which, all in all, isn’t a good recommendation. If you are depressed, for God’s sake don’t watch this film. If you want to evaluate how lucky you are, watch it for a little while and then go and do something else.

One could argue that any film that generates such a depth of feeling must be good – but I don’t normally watch films to feel miserable afterwards. Why would anyone want to do that?

The best film I have ever seen is Schindlers’ List. When I came out of the cinema after watching it, I felt overwhelmed, quiet and rather tearful. And so did the rest of the cinema goers; I haven’t experienced such a quiet exodus from a film in the decades since. The experience was deep and meaningful and never repeated.

Nomadland was similar, but only in the sense that it will never be repeated.     
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As much as I am looking forward to seeing Boris’ tenure at number ten come to an end, I have been paying close attention to the news of late to keep tabs on something completely different.

The situation in the Ukraine is bothering me a lot more than Boris’ fuckwittery.  Russia is going to invade and one of these mornings I am going to wake up to read that our world isn’t the same anymore.

There is a suggestion that diplomacy may yet prevail, but I don’t believe that for a moment. Putin didn’t move all the troops and equipment to the Ukraine border just to move them all away again.

To read most recently that the Russians are suggesting that the Americans are increasing the tensions and pushing them towards war is utter nonsense. The Russians are trying to spin the narrative and justify their invasion plans.

It has been suggested, by the Russians, that NATO is testing them and that Putin is responding to threats to his national security, but again that is just bollocks. The NATO allies haven’t been moving their troops and equipment to Russia’s borders and threatening to invade.

When the invasion of Ukraine happens, the global fallout is going to be significant, and we’ll all be a lot less secure.
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And on the subject of fallout (though this really is a digression), I guess the Russians let Europe fund, design and build the Chernobyl shroud (read earlier post) before making any decision to take the landmass back.

To make matters worse, the Chinese appear to be allying with Putin. A second major superpower with its own expansionist agenda (think Taiwan) might be more inclined to flex its muscles whilst other chaos is underway.

And then there’s North Korea firing its missiles almost daily…

The latest news is that the UK and US governments have instructed their citizens to get out while commercial flights are still available.

War is coming and I am certain that it’s so close that if I spend any more time working on this post, it will be old news. But I am hoping to God that I am wrong.

It’s looking very grim in the east and it’s extremely concerning.

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