​Blimey, it’s nearly the end of March already; January and February vanished in a blur of work and house move related stuff. A single post in February, the lowest monthly output in more than five years of blogging, is the evidence that I had to prioritise other things over writing. This month is only just about seeing a return to form.

Outside of work, my existence has been focused upon DIY and hassling the builder of our new home to fulfil its snagging obligations. 

A Six Nations Confession
This year, I only watched about five minutes of the rugby tournament in total before the England Ireland game. In previous years I would have watched every game, perhaps with the exception of France/Italy. Typically the first match I watched in its entirety, was the only one England lost - and with it the dream of a consecutive grand slam. I don’t mind admitting that I was a bit cross about that. 

Vive La Vauxhall 
The news that Vauxhall/Opel is to be sold to Peugeot Citroen bothers me a lot too. When GM flogs its European operations to the French, I wonder how long the brands will continue operate. Regardless of production plants and jobs in the UK (though much risk must exist for both), why would PSA continue to operate/market Vauxhall and Opel distinctly?

The prospect that the Vauxhall brand could disappear fills me with woe. And even if it survives as a marque, would it just become a Peugeot in different clothing? 

Political Bollocks 
The Brexit and Scottish independence shenanigans are another source of frustration. If we were going to have another referendum, why on earth would it be to re-debate the Scottish question? Given all the shit since the country voted to leave the EU, in my mind the only referendum worth re-doing would have been that one. The questioning something along the lines of “given all that you now know and all the nonsense you have had to put up with since, would you vote in the same way again?” 

But with Article 50 triggered today, it’s all a bit academic.

F1 2017
The new Formula One season is now underway and I spent the winter looking forward to the start of it. I paid attention all through pre-season testing, read every BBC News F1 related article and kept up with the qualifying in Oz.

But the actual Australian Grand Prix took place on Mother’s Day and that meant that I didn’t get to see it. The highlights on Channel 4 were shown across Sunday lunch with the extended family. 

The new house thing means that the only broadband we have is limited to not-enough-a-month (so no streaming media and parental controlled downloading more generally) and so three days on, the race has still not been experienced. But I already know that Hamilton lost so a little of the motivation to catch up has gone.

March The Salesforce Be With You
In work terms, this month has been gobbled up in relentless database and data manipulation tasks. Bearing in mind that I am a communications man at heart (and by long experience) you might be surprised (sometimes I am) to know that these days I spend much of my time manipulating Excel spreadsheets and moving data in and out of a system called Salesforce.  March saw me merge the data from two distinct Salesforce databases into one and, whilst that doesn’t sound complicated in a sentence, believe me it took up hours and hours of my time in terms of database configuration, data downloading, data formatting, data mapping, testing, staged uploading, duplicate record management, system reporting, new user set ups, user training etc. 

This kind of work requires absolute attention to detail because cocking it up would be a disaster. For your lead generation to work, you need to have the right contacts associated with the right accounts and the right activities associated with the right contacts and the right opportunities associated with the right companies and contacts. It doesn’t sound exciting and believe me it isn’t. In fact it’s dull and stressful and I am certain that my eyesight has deteriorated this month because of all the screen work. I’ll be relying on the force (think Star Wars) going forwards…

…or maybe just some glasses from Specsavers.

Was it that bad?
No of course not. But thanks for bearing with me whilst I got the above off my chest – it was fun for me to share.

​Here’s some good stuff. 

• Top Gear is back (and it’s better)
• The clocks have changed so we get more daylight
• I have managed to get out running again    
• I finally acquired a second-hand CD copy of “Forked Tongues” by Desert Storm without having to extend my mortgage (thank you Amazon)

And I am sure that April will be awesome, watch this space. 

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I have just finished reading the Guy Martin trilogy of book releases – his autobiography (1), “When You Dead, You Dead” (2) and “Worms To Catch” (3) - and thought I’d recommend them to you. I read the series back to back and enjoyed each of the volumes. 

I have seen many of Guy Martin’s TV exploits including riding the largest wall of death ever built at the fastest speed ever recorded; his engagement with the team working on the last flying Vulcan bomber; I watched with horror when he had his massive motorcycle crash in Ulster; and the thing that got me to thinking that I’d like to know more about the chap – “Speed the F1 special” – featuring his race against David Coulthard at Silverstone (F1 car versus BMW MotoGP Superbike). I even wrote about that last year.

Guy is a celebrity that couldn’t be less “celebrity” at least in terms of staying properly grounded and respectful of his roots. Despite all the notoriety from his TV work and his motorcycle racing, his day job…

…is truck fitting in Grimsby, earning £12 an hour.

He admits he got into writing as a consequence of his other exploits but continues because he enjoys it and because people (like me) seem to enjoy reading his material. Martin writes in a conversational, accessible style that I find engaging; he’s open, honest and direct.  

Here’s what I found fascinating:

He works relentlessly – workaholic tendencies if you ask me – but then that’s something he has in common with other very successful people.

He writes using Lincolnshire colloquialism in one paragraph and then detailed technical engineering language in the next. He makes the technical accessible and that’s a good skill.

Guy very rarely experiences fear despite doing all sorts of things where error/failure could have dire consequences. In book two, he states that he believes he is on the Asperger’s scale, maybe his lack of fear is an aspect of that.   

But whilst he isn’t scared of speed and heights, he struggles around people, so despite coming across as a chatty, amiable chap, he really isn’t that comfortable in social situations – he hates crowds and struggles with the attention that celebrity brings him. I wondered if part of his motivation for writing was because it would give his fans something to consume that would stop them feeling like they had to ask him about stuff in person. 

He isn’t motivated by money so he has turned down all sorts of work – even the Top Gear gig when approached by Chris Evans. He lives his life according to his own rules and won’t let over excited TV executives dictate to him. Respect!

Guy is however human and to prove it, his books are full of contradictions, I’ll share some with you.

On motorcycle racing:
He uses book three particularly to detail his decision making to stop motorcycle racing. He mentions it so often in fact that (at least in my opinion) he was using his writing to justify his thinking to himself. The same applies to winning a TT, he says he isn’t bothered that he hasn’t won yet…but that’s a load of bollocks because he clearly is, otherwise he wouldn't keep repeating that too. It was obvious to me that he hadn’t achieved closure and low and behold, I understand he will compete again in 2017.

On money:
Guy writes about not being motivated by money but then admits that he has a merchandising operation. Surely that’s blatant commercialism?

He writes about being tight with money, for example he doesn’t want to pay for hotels so regularly sleeps in his van; often flies cattle class instead of business class; will drive long distances because it’s cheaper than flying etc. And yet he bought an Aston Martin car (hardly good value in the first place) and then sold it a little later for a whopping loss.   

On fame:
Guy doesn’t seek fame and dislikes all the attention that it brings and yet he discloses on a number of occasions that he works for Moody International in Grimsby. So in effect he is telling the world where they can find him on a normal day. He doesn’t want his fans to come and talk to/distract him but it is okay if they want to buy a woolly hat with his branding on it. 

But all the contradictions are okay because what is clear is that Guy Martin is just like you and me in lots of ways (admittedly less so the daredevil stuff), he has flaws, he can’t get his head around some things, sometimes he can’t make up his mind, or he changes it later, and he makes mistakes too.  

I have read a number of autobiographical works where I got to the end of them and found that a previously looked-up-to character really didn’t deserve the elevation – Roger Moore and Steve Tyler are two that spring to mind. With Guy Martin though, I still think he’s an interesting bloke and I would quite enjoy having a chat with him over a bacon sandwich and cup of tea…though I appreciate that he’d prefer not to (still, even Mrs Baldwin experiences that feeling from time to time). 

Maybe I’ll buy a woolly hat with his skulls and spanners motif instead and look forward to 2017’s hardback. Probably I’ll just buy the next book.

But Guy if you read this and are ever feeling parched in Northamptonshire, be brave and drop me a line, I’ll put the kettle on.

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A few weeks ago, I had an interesting experience at the very shiny head office of one of the UK’s most significant commercial radio station groups. I was fortunate enough to be included in an immersion/induction day that included studio tours and an “all you need to know about radio” crash course. 

Listening to various directors and senior managers outlining growth strategy and results to date was fascinating and, unexpectedly, depressing in equal measure. Fascinating because I gained a great insight into another world but depressing because I have never felt quite so out of touch.

What became crystal clear (think DAB over AM) was that I wasn’t in the right target market. 

• I was not in the 16-24 age range (the only demographic that seemed important)
• I hadn’t listened to any of the commercial radio stations in the vast portfolio
• I hadn’t heard of most of the disc jockeys (certainly none of those that were on air at the time of my tour)  
• I don’t listen to radio (or music for that matter) on my mobile device (and therefore don’t download tunes or radio related apps)
• Most of the teen-pop music played by the stations, the festivals organised, or the artists managed by the group were the kinds of tunes/people/things I’d consider self-harming to avoid
• And social media just isn’t that important to me.

I suddenly found myself feeling old (not helped by the theatre being full of young, attractive new-starter 20somethings) and not on the same wavelength at all. Yet music has always been important to me; I have thousands of CDs (and not just from the punk and metal genres) and despite my age, still go to gigs regularly (various reviews available on this site).  

And the icing on the cake, the marketing director, with his millions of pounds of budget, his glamorous campaigns and his 50 plus sized department was probably 15 years younger than me (quite possibly more). So having felt old, I felt like an underachiever too. I even thought that maybe I shouldn’t work in marketing anymore.

But I got over it during the afternoon when I heard that all the teen-orientated digital engagement and pretty much everything else that wasn’t connected with selling traditional radio advertising earnt the group just about fuck all comparatively.

That would be because the teenagers targeted have no money to spend on anything…

…and the viral news, app downloads, YouTube visits, social media crap and millions of website hits allow them to spend nothing.  

I decided that whilst I obviously wasn’t in the target demographic, I am in a better one…

…one with some disposable income and a greater likelihood of championing Iron Maiden. 

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