I’ve just been reading on the BBC about the public order problems in the US caused by the release of a new Nike training shoe, a retro version of a classic Air Jordan model. Apparently fighting has broken out in shops, people have been assaulted (including police officers), individuals have been arrested and Ebay trading at hugely inflated prices is already underway. This mad American behaviour has made international news which must be PR heaven as far as the manufacturer is concerned - in fact Christmas has come a day or two early.   

A lesson to all marketers in there – for new products; build up some respectable hype and then initially restrict supply. Maybe you can have your customers fighting each other for your product too. 

I am a keen runner and there is a lot to be said for having the right footwear – though it’s not worth getting a criminal record for. If you’d like to consider an alternative shoe, I can whole heartedly recommend the Adidas Adistar Salvation (salvation for those disappointed Nike hunters). The latest colourway even includes some orange – perfect.

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Over the last couple of days, I have been playing my Christmas compilation CD ‘It’s Christmas Time’ (EMI 1992) – in almost 20 years I have never had a better festive compilation. This album sits in the CD rack gathering dust all year round and only gets taken out when the festive feeling finally arrives. I wouldn’t dream of playing it at any other time of the year and to be honest most years I wouldn’t listen to a single other song by any of the artists featured in the 12 month period (with the exception of Queen). As December builds momentum though, suddenly it feels completely appropriate to be listening to Wham, Slade or Cliff Richard – and given that my ‘thing’ is generally heavy metal and punk music you’ll appreciate the significantly altered state of mind required to enjoy Christmas pop. By the way, on the subject of punk, the Bleach Boys  oncerecorded an excellent and thoroughly ‘punked-up’ "‘White Christmas"; well worth a listen if you can find a source.

For me the festive spirit is building and here are the theme tunes, all I need now is a very bad jumper to wear whilst listening. 

Here’s the track list:
Wham – Last Christmas
Roy Wood & Wizzard – I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?
Paul McCartney – Wonderful Christmas
Elton John – Step Into Christmas
The Beach Boys – Little Saint Nick
Shakin’ Stevens – Merry Christmas Everyone
Garry Glitter – Another Rock & Roll Christmas
Brenda Lee – Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree
Jona Lewie – Stop The Cavalry
John & Yoko/The Plastic Ono Band – Happy Xmas (War is Over)
Cliff Richard – Mistletoe & Wine
Steeleye Span – Gaudette
Chris De Burgh – A Spaceman Came Travelling
Kate Bush – December Will be Magic Again
Queen – Thank God It’s Christmas
Mud – Lonely This Christmas
Nat ‘King’ Cole – The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You)
Johnny Mathis – When A Child Is Born
Bing Crosby – White Christmas

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I was watching Poirot on ITV3 on Saturday night (10/12/11) and whilst following the mystery, I found myself, perhaps bizarrely, contemplating the subject of hats. In the episode, most of the men folk were wearing hats of one style or another and I can’t help thinking that some of the classic head gear on show could do with a renaissance. The campaign starts here.

These days you tend to see baseball caps everywhere and pensioners wearing trilbies or flat caps, but rarely do you see anything more, well ‘smart’ and/or ‘sophisticated’ for want of some better words. Bowlers and top hats for example only seem to be associated with weddings and funerals and yet the bowler wearing, pin striped suited business gentleman is as stereotypically British as the red double-decker bus, the London taxi, the red telephone box and the union jack.    

Back to the TV; Poirot was wearing what I think was a homburg and Hastings was sporting a fedora. The fedora looked very smart, it reminded me of the hat of Indiana Jones and that made me think that I might quite like to try one on and see if I looked quite so cool (probably not but that’s beside the point).  The fact is though that if I went out, bought myself a fedora and then walked around my local town with it, people would probably just think I was odd – which is a shame. Of course once the fashion for smart hats comes back (and it’s bound to one day), I could wear one without drawing undue sympathy.

To be fair, I am not exactly averse to drawing myself attention for wearing odd hats, for example I have a Russian Ushanka (I know that sounds a bit like ‘merchant banker’) which, now winter is here, has been pressed back into service. That attracts a few stares too but the key is that I am happy to wear it with my leather jacket and jeans and just convince myself that everyone is jealous and really wants one too (they may of course have a word rhyming with ushanka in mind).

If I bought a fedora though, would it go with jeans? I am not sure I would be prepared to wear a suit and overcoat every time I went out (rather like Hastings) just to complement the hat. Still Indiana Jones got away with hat and scruffs so maybe there is hope.

Talking of scruffs; do any of you remember Sid Snot? I grew up with the Kenny Everett show and was a fan. The Sid Snot character wore Ray Bans and this black leather cap with a brim and a chain that I just thought was the coolest thing – in fact one Christmas (at about the tender age of ten) I asked if someone could buy me something similar. That was of course a long time before I understood what gay was or that muir caps were associated with the gay S&M scene. So despite my appreciation of the cap’s form and having lived in motorcycle jackets for the last 25 years, I am definitely not brave enough to wear one of those.

Forgive me that digression; back to the point. Smart hats must be due a comeback, so if there are any fashion designers reading, let’s get some back on the catwalk and then back into the high street. It’s about time that people stop thinking that a fedora is just a Swiss tennis star. Marks & Spencer take note, there’s an opportunity here and your business could lead the way. 

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I saw an advertisement on the TV the other night for Soda Stream(SS) and then blow me if I didn’t then see a machine for sale in Tesco. Now I don’t know if these machines have been significantly improved over the years (other than in appearance, which I’ll admit they have) but you might want to think twice about buying one. As a grateful child of the seventies, I was exposed to the hype of Soda Streams from a young age and I remember all the TV advertising from the first time around. Despite much expectation, the SS was ghastly and the pop created was just awful. If you were a fan of Pepsi or Coke then you were going to be horribly let down – the stuff you could make yourself from the syrup didn’t even meet the low standards of a Panda cola.

The SS needed gas, you needed to buy the bespoke SS syrups as well, and from what I can tell that’s the same business model now. I love retro and nostalgia works for me on all sorts of levels but in this case my advice is buy the fizzy pop you like from the supermarket as usual, it will taste better and will cost you less. The SS is just a gimmick; buy yourself a fondue set instead if you want to live the retro dream.

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I’ve been to the dentist/hygienist this morning and have arrived home with what feels like somebody else’s mouth - let’s face it, there are new spaces between my teeth that I can enjoy exploring with my tongue and shiny white enamel where previously I’ll admit there was some staining.

I have been studied, probed, prodded, scraped and polished and been given my six monthly lecture on the benefits of flossing – something I have resolutely avoided my whole life to date. I know it’s right, and that really I should, but I remain reluctant and without the necessary string (well floss to use the proper term).

Why write about something as routine as a visit to the dentist; well I learnt something new today. The hygienist and her assistant were talking to each other in some kind of numerical code that had me intrigued and so I asked for a translation. Did you know that there is a numerical system for describing and recording the level of gum diseases that a person’s mouth is subject to? I didn’t but now that I do, here’s some insight. The scale of 0-4 is used to judge your gums top and bottom, left, middle and right – you end up with a score i.e. 123 - 123.

A zero means perfect and a four means intractable gum disease (yuck). So readers, next time you go to see the tooth doctors, you want to listen in and be concerned if you hear threes or fours. Most people that take care of their gobs score twos as indeed to be fair did I. However I did score a couple of zeroes too and for some daft reason, I am quite pleased about that. The reality is that I am counted as average by the score but I take some comfort from the fact that the zeroes make me slightly better than average and how’s that for a label. 

Over and out!          

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This Sunday’s Observer proved to be a good read and has given me some blogging inspiration. First up, Jeremy Clarkson is in trouble again for stating opinions that clash with middle England. His comments about strikers deserving to be executed (The One Show) guaranteed him some bad press and that was admirably followed up by some narrative about the poor judgement shown by those committing suicide by jumping in front of trains (his position being based upon the significant inconvenience they cause to the commuting public).

There is a marketing/PR expression that no news is bad news and I am sure that Clarkson buys into that concept. He is of course well known for similar outpourings and I am sure that he (and indeed his agent) judges his success on the column inches published by the press and the number of complaints generated by his acerbic rants. Negative publicity of this nature is great for his profile, particularly whilst Top Gear is off the air.

Clarkson writes for the Sun and is no doubt loved by its readers; I bet that the Sun editorial people take some satisfaction that his comments in the Sun generated coverage in the Observer (in fact a good chunk of page 9 and then a full page Observer profile on p35 - and how much would that cost if you could buy it?).  When Clarkson has to say ‘sorry’ he gets even more coverage … perfect! That reminds me of the maxim ‘it’s much easier to apologise for something afterwards than ask for permission first’.  The daft thing is that Clarkson probably doesn’t even believe his published ‘opinions’ but then being more balanced wouldn’t guarantee media interest. 

Those complaining about his wit, style and opinions won’t make any difference because Clarkson is arguably a British institution, loved by many and entitled to have his say. He’s hardly Frankie Boyle either.

If you are really upset by him then don’t moan to the media, just stop watching Top Gear, buying his books or reading the Sun. Ratings is where it will hurt him.

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