This morning Chris Evans gave a lot of air time to the subject of onesies. In sartorial terms, the onesie (in my considered opinion) is the equivalent of stylistic depravity. An analogy would be to a keen and capable cook resorting to eating tinned spaghetti and white bread. The question being ‘why’? Why would you wear this, or eat that, when you could do so much better?
My objection to onesies is well known to my family and friends – in fact Angela (I am sure she won’t mind a name check), our child-minder, even suggested a few nights ago, when I picked up the kids, that the essentials for a blog entry on the subject were obvious.
Catalyst Evans was the final straw and so today I share my grumpy views.
I understand why kids like onesies, and why they want one. My five year old daughter loves hers and both my nieces love theirs. My daughter had a friend come for a sleepover and once she had seen the onesie that arrived with the suitcase, she was determined to have her own. In fact Miss Baldwin pestered Mrs Baldwin until she surrendered and the article of clothing was purchased. To be honest, my daughter looks pretty cute in her leopard print all in one with pink trim and ears on the hood.
Where onesies start to bother me is when adults think they are acceptable attire. I have seen people out in our local high street wearing onesies and I think they look stupid! Mrs Baldwin has bought herself one and it reduces me to despair. I’ll admit I tried hard to talk her out of buying one ... and failed.
From a sexy perspective, the onesie is less alluring than a set of workman’s overalls (at least they could possibly suggest some kind of kinky dressing up thing). They even have pockets, which are useful, and slide splits that you can get your hands in.
In cinematic terms, picture these two scenes:
1) A woman going to bed in a onesie
2) A shopkeeper closing the premises up for the evening, turning around the ‘closed for business’ sign and switching off the lights.
Fellas, do you see the essential similarities, are you with me on this or am I alone?
I don’t care how snuggly and comfortable the damn things are, they are shapeless and sag at the arse and this is bad! For adults that think that integral feet/paws, ears or tails (or other sundry appendages) are fun, I feel genuine sadness for them.
If you are a bloke and think that it is okay to wear one, you need to get yourself to a shrink and have your head examined!
Finally, the word ‘onesie’ has even been incorporated in to the English dictionary and this is a linguistic tragedy.
Rant over and I for onesie feel better for it.
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My objection to onesies is well known to my family and friends – in fact Angela (I am sure she won’t mind a name check), our child-minder, even suggested a few nights ago, when I picked up the kids, that the essentials for a blog entry on the subject were obvious.
Catalyst Evans was the final straw and so today I share my grumpy views.
I understand why kids like onesies, and why they want one. My five year old daughter loves hers and both my nieces love theirs. My daughter had a friend come for a sleepover and once she had seen the onesie that arrived with the suitcase, she was determined to have her own. In fact Miss Baldwin pestered Mrs Baldwin until she surrendered and the article of clothing was purchased. To be honest, my daughter looks pretty cute in her leopard print all in one with pink trim and ears on the hood.
Where onesies start to bother me is when adults think they are acceptable attire. I have seen people out in our local high street wearing onesies and I think they look stupid! Mrs Baldwin has bought herself one and it reduces me to despair. I’ll admit I tried hard to talk her out of buying one ... and failed.
From a sexy perspective, the onesie is less alluring than a set of workman’s overalls (at least they could possibly suggest some kind of kinky dressing up thing). They even have pockets, which are useful, and slide splits that you can get your hands in.
In cinematic terms, picture these two scenes:
1) A woman going to bed in a onesie
2) A shopkeeper closing the premises up for the evening, turning around the ‘closed for business’ sign and switching off the lights.
Fellas, do you see the essential similarities, are you with me on this or am I alone?
I don’t care how snuggly and comfortable the damn things are, they are shapeless and sag at the arse and this is bad! For adults that think that integral feet/paws, ears or tails (or other sundry appendages) are fun, I feel genuine sadness for them.
If you are a bloke and think that it is okay to wear one, you need to get yourself to a shrink and have your head examined!
Finally, the word ‘onesie’ has even been incorporated in to the English dictionary and this is a linguistic tragedy.
Rant over and I for onesie feel better for it.
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