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Ip dip apple pip, Clarkson is in the shit.......................again!

5/6/2014

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I have reviewed the furore about Jeremy Clarkson (JC) over the last few days and am frustrated enough by the nonsense to take to my keyboard.

By mumbling a specific word in the well-known nursery rhyme “Eenie Meenie Miney Mo”, JC is now the subject of a ridiculous media storm. I state ridiculous for a few reasons.

Firstly, and maybe this perspective is mine alone, the cynic in me thinks the whole thing is an orchestrated PR stunt; what better way to raise the profile of JC and Top Gear when the programme is off air than something that grabs the media’s attention? In fact in December 2011, I wrote about something similar concerning the shooting of strikers.

This time, Top Gear/the BBC has profited from coverage about the worst (or perhaps best) list of similar faux pas, the media has got a televised apology out of Clarkson and the BBC has even threatened to sack him. An excellent and valuable clutch of column inches for anyone that is interested in media measurement!

And what an utter load of bollocks! As if the BBC would sack the leading light of one of its precious few flagship programmes over a piece of footage that never even made it into a broadcast show!

Assuming that you have seen the clip (comparing a Toyota GT86 to a Subaru BRZ using the Eenie Meenie mode of decision making), the word nigger (‘n’ from now onwards) was mumbled - that mumbling I suspect was because Clarkson didn’t like using it at all. If he was racist, as claimed by some, surely he would annunciate properly rather than mumble (to the point where the volume actually needed to be cranked up for the offending word to be audible) and instead record an alternative take. In a Sunday Times post from 3rd June 2012, Clarkson actually wrote that “if you use the ‘n’ word, you are not anonymous and the police can find you”. He didn’t even write the word in full because that’s how uncomfortable it makes him and others - even right wing Times readers.

Rightly so, there is no place for racism in our society but there is a place for common sense. Some will argue that the ‘slope’ comments in the Christmas special give JC form but that was the kind of edgy double entendre that I suspect all will be at pains to avoid in future.

Now the ‘n’ word is horrible and probably has its roots in slavery (which deserves to be a national embarrassment) and I suspect the nursery rhyme that utilises it has similar origins. The fact is though that the racist ‘n’ word exists and can’t just be eradicated from the dictionary or nursery rhymes because we live in more sensitive, politically appropriate times.

Clarkson is no angel; he is provocative, opinionated, irreverent and humorous but those qualities are what make the British public adore him. We have elevated JC to super stardom over many years and can hardly be surprised when his sticks to his winning formula.  If you have condoned his style by reading and watching his material then you can’t very well get on your high horse when he rides too close to the edge.

If you, like I, are a fan of JC or Top Gear then you know you can’t take anything produced too seriously; it’s all created for simple entertainment and it’s well done too. My kids love his work and would recognise him before they would recognise almost any other figure on the BBC.

From a personal perspective, I think Jeremy is a master of the simile and the analogy and whilst I often don’t agree with his opinions, perspectives or politics, he’s a good journalist and I can’t say I find him offensive, or label him casually racist – let’s be frank, he’s not exactly Nick Griffin!

Whilst I rate Clarkson, I have never met him and most likely never will; I suspect that he is egotistical, arrogant, abrasive and may not be that nice. I am sure that if he read my post, he’d condemn it as shit.

They say never meet your heroes and with JC they could be right; but he is a British asset; he works bloody hard, lives in Oxfordshire and pays his taxes to HMRC.

Instead of even suggesting sacking him, the BBC should think about offering him the seat at Newsnight now that Paxman is retiring.

And if Clarkson needs a rhyme to make a future decision, perhaps the alternative “Ip dip dog shit, you are not it” should be considered (maybe “apple pip” would better suit the faint hearted)!

Finally the BBC for its part better make sure it doesn’t go re-screening “In Sickness and In Health” or “Til death us do part” or sanctioning the reading of Enid Blyton on Jackanory because the backlash could be shocking!

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