Simon Kelly in his element Today’s post marks the passing of two individuals, one character that I knew (at least a little) and one that I was not that familiar with at all. The latter, Peter Donaldson has had plenty written about him already but the former, the inimitable Simon Kelly, deserves to have an obituary of sorts too.
I don’t imagine that Peter or Simon knew each other but both are linked (at least in this post, and a bit bizarrely) by nuclear war.
Peter Donaldson, the Radio 4 presenter, was to be the voice of the nation in the event that the UK was attacked with nuclear weapons. The recordings he made to reassure/instruct the public were declassified some while ago and can now be heard by all. A transcript of an announcement is shared below.
“This is the Wartime Broadcasting Service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons. Communications have been severely disrupted, and the number of casualties and the extent of the damage are not yet known. We shall bring you further information as soon as possible. Meanwhile, stay tuned to this wavelength, stay calm and stay in your own homes.
Remember there is nothing to be gained by trying to get away. By leaving your homes you could be exposing yourselves to greater danger. If you leave, you may find yourself without food, without water, without accommodation and without protection. Radioactive fall-out, which follows a nuclear explosion, is many times more dangerous if you are directly exposed to it in the open. Roofs and walls offer substantial protection. The safest place is indoors.
Make sure gas and other fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. If mains water is available, this can be used for fire-fighting. You should also refill all your containers for drinking water after the fires have been put out, because the mains water supply may not be available for very long. Water must not be used for flushing lavatories: until you are told that lavatories may be used again, other toilet arrangements must be made. Use your water only for essential drinking and cooking purposes. Water means life. Don't waste it.
Make your food stocks last: ration your supply, because it may have to last for 14 days or more. If you have fresh food in the house, use this first to avoid wasting it: food in tins will keep. If you live in an area where a fall-out warning has been given, stay in your fall-out room until you are told it is safe to come out. When the immediate danger has passed the sirens will sound a steady note. The "all clear" message will also be given on this wavelength. If you leave the fall-out room to go to the lavatory or replenish food or water supplies, do not remain outside the room for a minute longer than is necessary.
Do not, in any circumstances, go outside the house. Radioactive fall-out can kill. You cannot see it or feel it, but it is there. If you go outside, you will bring danger to your family and you may die. Stay in your fall-out room until you are told it is safe to come out or you hear the "all clear" on the sirens.
Here are the main points again: Stay in your own homes, and if you live in an area where a fall-out warning has been given stay in your fall-out room, until you are told it is safe to come out. The message that the immediate danger has passed will be given by the sirens and repeated on this wavelength. Make sure that the gas and all fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. Water must be rationed, and used only for essential drinking and cooking purposes. It must not be used for flushing lavatories. Ration your food supply: it may have to last for 14 days or more.
We shall repeat this broadcast in two hours' time. Stay tuned to this wavelength, but switch your radios off now to save your batteries until we come on the air again. That is the end of this broadcast.”
It is understandable that the government was keen to have processes/protocols in place but let’s be frank, the instructions were utter nonsense. Peter may as well have stated “we are all as good as dead anyway so you might as well die at home.”
And that kind of irreverence brings me on to the legendary Simon Kelly. Simon was an extremely self-confident, energetic, funny, slightly anarchic, Guildhall School of Music trained opera singer who, perhaps unexpectedly, was the long-time front man of The Bleach Boys, a Hitchin derived punk band.
Whereas Peter Donaldson, the voice of the establishment, had a certain outlook on nuclear war - Simon Kelly vocalised a very different perspective on one of my favourite Bleach Boys tracks entitled “Nuclear War” (available on the album “Four Cyclists of the Apocalypse").
The song’s premise is that Simon (because he’s singing) actually wants to die in a nuclear war because it’s the ultimate way to go. Lyrical extracts include:
“I want to die in a nuclear war,
What the hell are we waiting for?”
-
“I want to see that mushroom cloud
I want to hear it loud, loud, loud”
-
“Give me, give me that neutron taste”
-
“Rearrange my DNA, microwave my head”
So whilst the early to mid-eighties saw the cold war at its height and kids like me were getting taught in school about the perils of nuclear conflict, The Bleach Boys (BBs) were out there poking fun at the subject that had so many so worried (me included).
Fortunately nuclear war has so far been avoided, but in an unfortunate twist, Simon and Peter got to experience the effects of radiation in their own ways because both ended up dealing with cancer.
Simon developed leukaemia and had his bone marrow destroyed with radiation as part of his treatment. In later complications, the cancer spread to his brain (which makes the final line of the BBs track above particularly poignant).
I found out that he died via another member of the Bleach Boys and I was gutted to hear the news. I knew he was poorly but, like many others, I hoped his indomitable spirit would see him through.
In relationship terms, we weren’t close friends but I had spent a reasonable amount of time in his company over the years, particularly in 2005 when I travelled to Berlin to see the BBs play and a little later in the year at the Wasted Punk Festival in Morecambe.
I have written about the band a number of times on my site (see below) and I still do my best to see the BBs a few times a year. But once Simon moved on to focus on his business interests (and Matt joined the band in his place), I had seen very little of him.
But I will remember Simon in his element on the stage, being the centre of attention, owning the space, stretching the boundaries of decency, wearing some wild facial expressions (and occasionally a dress), leaping around like a lunatic and having a jolly good time.
I grew up in Hitchin and went to the same school as Simon (and the other members of the band for that matter); he was only a handful of years older than me. I started watching the Bleach Boys as soon as I was old enough to get into the clubs/pubs the band was playing in. I went to every gig I could until I moved away and even then I came back from time to time to catch another.
He has left us way too early and, for me anyway, his departure has made me reflect on my own mortality.
My thoughts go out to his family, there will be dark times ahead for his wife and daughter but maybe there can be some solace gained from knowing that Simon Kelly’s flame burned brightly and that he lit up the punk scene for so many people that they will never know.
Rest in Peace Simon Kelly 1959-2015
Visit The Bleach Boys
Previous related posts:
News about Peter Donaldson
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I don’t imagine that Peter or Simon knew each other but both are linked (at least in this post, and a bit bizarrely) by nuclear war.
Peter Donaldson, the Radio 4 presenter, was to be the voice of the nation in the event that the UK was attacked with nuclear weapons. The recordings he made to reassure/instruct the public were declassified some while ago and can now be heard by all. A transcript of an announcement is shared below.
“This is the Wartime Broadcasting Service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons. Communications have been severely disrupted, and the number of casualties and the extent of the damage are not yet known. We shall bring you further information as soon as possible. Meanwhile, stay tuned to this wavelength, stay calm and stay in your own homes.
Remember there is nothing to be gained by trying to get away. By leaving your homes you could be exposing yourselves to greater danger. If you leave, you may find yourself without food, without water, without accommodation and without protection. Radioactive fall-out, which follows a nuclear explosion, is many times more dangerous if you are directly exposed to it in the open. Roofs and walls offer substantial protection. The safest place is indoors.
Make sure gas and other fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. If mains water is available, this can be used for fire-fighting. You should also refill all your containers for drinking water after the fires have been put out, because the mains water supply may not be available for very long. Water must not be used for flushing lavatories: until you are told that lavatories may be used again, other toilet arrangements must be made. Use your water only for essential drinking and cooking purposes. Water means life. Don't waste it.
Make your food stocks last: ration your supply, because it may have to last for 14 days or more. If you have fresh food in the house, use this first to avoid wasting it: food in tins will keep. If you live in an area where a fall-out warning has been given, stay in your fall-out room until you are told it is safe to come out. When the immediate danger has passed the sirens will sound a steady note. The "all clear" message will also be given on this wavelength. If you leave the fall-out room to go to the lavatory or replenish food or water supplies, do not remain outside the room for a minute longer than is necessary.
Do not, in any circumstances, go outside the house. Radioactive fall-out can kill. You cannot see it or feel it, but it is there. If you go outside, you will bring danger to your family and you may die. Stay in your fall-out room until you are told it is safe to come out or you hear the "all clear" on the sirens.
Here are the main points again: Stay in your own homes, and if you live in an area where a fall-out warning has been given stay in your fall-out room, until you are told it is safe to come out. The message that the immediate danger has passed will be given by the sirens and repeated on this wavelength. Make sure that the gas and all fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. Water must be rationed, and used only for essential drinking and cooking purposes. It must not be used for flushing lavatories. Ration your food supply: it may have to last for 14 days or more.
We shall repeat this broadcast in two hours' time. Stay tuned to this wavelength, but switch your radios off now to save your batteries until we come on the air again. That is the end of this broadcast.”
It is understandable that the government was keen to have processes/protocols in place but let’s be frank, the instructions were utter nonsense. Peter may as well have stated “we are all as good as dead anyway so you might as well die at home.”
And that kind of irreverence brings me on to the legendary Simon Kelly. Simon was an extremely self-confident, energetic, funny, slightly anarchic, Guildhall School of Music trained opera singer who, perhaps unexpectedly, was the long-time front man of The Bleach Boys, a Hitchin derived punk band.
Whereas Peter Donaldson, the voice of the establishment, had a certain outlook on nuclear war - Simon Kelly vocalised a very different perspective on one of my favourite Bleach Boys tracks entitled “Nuclear War” (available on the album “Four Cyclists of the Apocalypse").
The song’s premise is that Simon (because he’s singing) actually wants to die in a nuclear war because it’s the ultimate way to go. Lyrical extracts include:
“I want to die in a nuclear war,
What the hell are we waiting for?”
-
“I want to see that mushroom cloud
I want to hear it loud, loud, loud”
-
“Give me, give me that neutron taste”
-
“Rearrange my DNA, microwave my head”
So whilst the early to mid-eighties saw the cold war at its height and kids like me were getting taught in school about the perils of nuclear conflict, The Bleach Boys (BBs) were out there poking fun at the subject that had so many so worried (me included).
Fortunately nuclear war has so far been avoided, but in an unfortunate twist, Simon and Peter got to experience the effects of radiation in their own ways because both ended up dealing with cancer.
Simon developed leukaemia and had his bone marrow destroyed with radiation as part of his treatment. In later complications, the cancer spread to his brain (which makes the final line of the BBs track above particularly poignant).
I found out that he died via another member of the Bleach Boys and I was gutted to hear the news. I knew he was poorly but, like many others, I hoped his indomitable spirit would see him through.
In relationship terms, we weren’t close friends but I had spent a reasonable amount of time in his company over the years, particularly in 2005 when I travelled to Berlin to see the BBs play and a little later in the year at the Wasted Punk Festival in Morecambe.
I have written about the band a number of times on my site (see below) and I still do my best to see the BBs a few times a year. But once Simon moved on to focus on his business interests (and Matt joined the band in his place), I had seen very little of him.
But I will remember Simon in his element on the stage, being the centre of attention, owning the space, stretching the boundaries of decency, wearing some wild facial expressions (and occasionally a dress), leaping around like a lunatic and having a jolly good time.
I grew up in Hitchin and went to the same school as Simon (and the other members of the band for that matter); he was only a handful of years older than me. I started watching the Bleach Boys as soon as I was old enough to get into the clubs/pubs the band was playing in. I went to every gig I could until I moved away and even then I came back from time to time to catch another.
He has left us way too early and, for me anyway, his departure has made me reflect on my own mortality.
My thoughts go out to his family, there will be dark times ahead for his wife and daughter but maybe there can be some solace gained from knowing that Simon Kelly’s flame burned brightly and that he lit up the punk scene for so many people that they will never know.
Rest in Peace Simon Kelly 1959-2015
Visit The Bleach Boys
Previous related posts:
- http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/the-c-word
- http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/blog/bleach-boys-balstock-beer-buffoonery-and-blimey
- http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/1/post/2013/08/bleach-boys-and-chron-gen-at-club-85-in-hitchin-a-gig-review.html
- http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/1/post/2013/05/the-bleach-boys-overload-and-rsi-punk-rock-with-king-billy.html
- http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/the-bleach-boys-and-the-horn.html
- http://www.adrianbaldwin.net/the-bleach-boys-a-cd-review.html
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