Last Thursday night (14th May) I watched a documentary on Channel 4 called “The Secret World of Tinder”. The world of mobile phone, app-based dating is one I have never been exposed to, having been married for a lot longer than smartphone technology has existed.
I have been vaguely aware of Tinder’s existence because some of my twenty something work colleagues, have used the app quite successfully for dating and, putting it bluntly, shagging.
Tinder involves automated match making, messaging, photo sharing and geographic location detecting.
In my field-playing days, you had to work at the dating game to have any hope of success; you had to go to worthwhile places; you had to be prepared to get on the dance floor; you had to be brave enough to strike up a conversation with a woman who was inevitably surrounded by her mates; you had to accept that you were in competition with other hopefuls and you had to be prepared for rejection.
In these Tinder times, one’s phone/tablet will do the legwork for you (share photos, suggest matches and put you in touch with potential partners). What’s even more valuable is that one can be quite specific about what one is looking for - and it’s apparently okay to be frank if it’s no ties sex that appeals.
Arguably, Tinder is awe inspiring, it’s efficient, it’s effective and it’s cheap. It puts like-minded people in touch with each other, it offers opportunity in quality and volumetric terms. One chap, whose name I can’t remember was my age, recently divorced and using Tinder to reduce his bed post to sawdust.
For those that want extra marital affairs, Tinder has Nirvana-like qualities. Nights away from home have more fling potential than ever before.
I found myself watching and feeling slightly frustrated that this world of instant gratification wasn’t available at a point when I would have valued it greatly. Then again, I have found that the thrill of the chase is better than the catch in so many aspects of life – with Tinder there is no chase at all.
But downloading the app could be the equivalent of opening Pandora’s box because Tinder has its downsides too; it devalues courtship (how old am I to use that word), it gives too much choice/temptation and therefore devalues commitment, it creates a world of half-truths (or less), it is patrolled by predators and it can be decidedly seedy (e.g. matched people exchanging photos of their genitals before even sharing a cup of coffee).
Personally, I found myself increasingly irritated by the shallow characters bragging about their conquests, the deceit routinely practised by men and women alike and the naïve beliefs seemingly shared that by trying the many, you would inevitably find the ‘one’.
But then who knows, one day I might be back in the game and delighted that such a tool exists.
If you didn’t watch the documentary, you can always catch up with it on 4OD. If you are easily offended or of a sensitive disposition - avoid it.
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I have been vaguely aware of Tinder’s existence because some of my twenty something work colleagues, have used the app quite successfully for dating and, putting it bluntly, shagging.
Tinder involves automated match making, messaging, photo sharing and geographic location detecting.
In my field-playing days, you had to work at the dating game to have any hope of success; you had to go to worthwhile places; you had to be prepared to get on the dance floor; you had to be brave enough to strike up a conversation with a woman who was inevitably surrounded by her mates; you had to accept that you were in competition with other hopefuls and you had to be prepared for rejection.
In these Tinder times, one’s phone/tablet will do the legwork for you (share photos, suggest matches and put you in touch with potential partners). What’s even more valuable is that one can be quite specific about what one is looking for - and it’s apparently okay to be frank if it’s no ties sex that appeals.
Arguably, Tinder is awe inspiring, it’s efficient, it’s effective and it’s cheap. It puts like-minded people in touch with each other, it offers opportunity in quality and volumetric terms. One chap, whose name I can’t remember was my age, recently divorced and using Tinder to reduce his bed post to sawdust.
For those that want extra marital affairs, Tinder has Nirvana-like qualities. Nights away from home have more fling potential than ever before.
I found myself watching and feeling slightly frustrated that this world of instant gratification wasn’t available at a point when I would have valued it greatly. Then again, I have found that the thrill of the chase is better than the catch in so many aspects of life – with Tinder there is no chase at all.
But downloading the app could be the equivalent of opening Pandora’s box because Tinder has its downsides too; it devalues courtship (how old am I to use that word), it gives too much choice/temptation and therefore devalues commitment, it creates a world of half-truths (or less), it is patrolled by predators and it can be decidedly seedy (e.g. matched people exchanging photos of their genitals before even sharing a cup of coffee).
Personally, I found myself increasingly irritated by the shallow characters bragging about their conquests, the deceit routinely practised by men and women alike and the naïve beliefs seemingly shared that by trying the many, you would inevitably find the ‘one’.
But then who knows, one day I might be back in the game and delighted that such a tool exists.
If you didn’t watch the documentary, you can always catch up with it on 4OD. If you are easily offended or of a sensitive disposition - avoid it.
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